Why I Would Vote “Yes” for Equality

On Friday, May 22, Ireland will make remarkable step for a country in which homosexuality was illegal until just 22 years ago. They will hold a referendum for Same Sex Marriage Equality. A vote. Will LGBT adults be allowed to Marry, or will they be relegated to “civil partnership” and being second class citizens? Soon we shall find out. The poles are close, and every vote is going to count in this referendum. I live in Ireland now, and while I don’t have a vote, and I am straight, I look at the people around me as a woman, and I know in my heart I would vote “yes” to Gay Marriage if I could.

Why?

In my own country, the US, state by state, LGBT rights for marriage and civil partnership are slow to come – and being battled in the courts. In the US there is no vote, and just like in many other places in the world, in both countries the issue is very controversial. I think it’s important that we all have the chance to have a voice – and not force the courts to decide this for the country, something that I applaud Ireland for putting to a referendum, because it is about equality – something which civil partnerships (in Ireland) are not. Your voice in this case, is done by casting your vote. If you don’t vote, your voice isn’t being used.

There are 160 legal differences between civil marriage and a civil partnership. This makes those who are same sex couples less “equal” in the eyes of the law. Most importantly, Civil partnership prevents the “partner” as being recognized as “next of kin” in inheritance, hospital visitation . medical decisions, social supports like welfare / unemployment / disability, and for those who have children (adopted, or from previous relationships) it neglects the bonds between parents and children. Imagine something happens to your partner and being unable to inherit the house you both worked so hard to pay for, that you can’t visit your loved one in hospital, or that your children (where you’re the only living parent they have known) are taken away and put into the foster system because you’re not recognized as a parent (because you can’t be put on the birth or adoption certificate). Completely unfair – all because you are with someone of the same gender. I just can’t justify it in my mind.

I believe that love between adults and commitment knows no bounds. I believe that if you love someone and want to have all the rights that Marriage brings, you should be allowed to commit to that person legally, and have all the same rights that marriage brings. It doesn’t devalue my commitment to someone else, it doesn’t devalue my commitment to children, nor does it devalue my love for any of them. It strengthens it – because I know that there is a chance for happiness. And hey, with 50% of all ‘straight’ marriages ending in divorce – we sure can’t do any worse letting ‘same sex’ folks get married, right? If you’re committed to marriage, you are. If you’re not you’re not. That’s the long and the short of it.

I believe that in each generation, we get a chance to change the future – for the better – and reaffirm our belief in equality regardless of race, creed, color, gender, or sexuality. This is my generation’s chance to change history for the better.

Once upon a time, there was legalized slavery in the US (and many other countries). Once upon a time, women couldn’t vote or own property. Once upon a time, people of color were segregated and had to sit at the back of the bus, have different education, and couldn’t drink from the same drinking fountains. Once upon a time, it was illegal for people to marry cross color (eg. Whites couldn’t marry blacks). Once upon a time, it was illegal to marry across religions (Catholics could only marry Catholics, Protestants only marry Protestants). We have come so far that today – all of these are laughable and un-relatable points in history for most of us. As Millennials, look back at them and say “why” and “I don’t get it”? I want to add LGBT being prevented from Marrying to this list. In fact, I would be proud to add this to the thick dusty annals of history.

I want to be on the right side of history. I don’t want to have a child ever ask me why they aren’t “equal” if they love someone of the same gender, or ask me why we didn’t pass equality when we had the chance. I don’t want to tell them that they’re not “equal” or that “something” was ‘wrong’ with them because of who they are attracted to or fall in love with. When the time comes, I don’t want to be seen like those racists protesting at the University of Alabama in the 1960’s when the first black students crossed the threshold trying to get an education. I don’t want to be seen like the Nazis who committed atrocities toward the Jews in the 1940s. I don’t want to be seen as someone who didn’t stand up and “do something” or “say something” when I had the chance. No, as an American, I can’t vote. But I do have a voice. And I do have a Blog, and I do have the ability to show my support.

So, there it is. My voice in an adopted country which I have come to love very much. I strongly encourage everyone to vote. I would YES for marriage equality, and hope you will too.

Times, they are a changin’

As some of you know, I’ve been blessed to work for one of the leading internet companies since 1999. They changed their logo on the site yesterday, and it prompted me to think back – way back – to back when I started working with the company. It makes me feel a bit old, but also proud to watch how times have changed – and so has our homepage. I thought I’d share a few screenshots from over the years….

1997 – Back in the Day:

A loaf of bread cost $1.22
The first book in the Harry Potter Series is published.
Mike Tyson’s bit Evander Holyfield’s ear.
Tiger Woods wins his first Masters at 21.
Princess Diana Killed in Car Crash
and our company homepage looked like this:

1999 – the end of the millenium:
A loaf of bread cost $1.55
Everyone was starting to gear up to Y2K (which didn’t happen)
The Sixth Sense came out in movie theaters (I see dead people).
Lance Armstrong won his first Tour De France
I started with the company officially in December. (I’d worked there on trial basis for 3 months before this.)
This is the homepage I remember from when I first started, my first Christmas:

2001 – Infamous:

A loaf of bread cost $1.82
The first Ipod and X-box were released
Enron scandal shook the energy world
World Trade Center / Pentagon hit by airplanes and my company responded by launching Auctions for America in less than 24 hours, raising money for the victims charity.
I spent 3 days on the phones, with the Red Cross.
I bought my first house in Magna, Utah on December 17.
The color change from “blue” to “yellow” was starting to happen; we were experiementing with Live Auctions. eBay stores was about to launch. Screenshot below is pre-Auctions for America / Pre stores, but post Live Auctions.

2003 – Identity Crisis:

Price of a loaf of bread: $1.79
Elizabeth Smart was found safely, to the surprise & relief of many
Aron Ralston hacks his arm off (127 hours) after getting caught it by a boulder in a remote Utah Canyon
Madonna Kissed Brittney at the VMAs.
Angelina Jolie kissed her brother at the Oscars.
The company homepage chose yellow / blue to try to challenge another online company (guess?)

2008 Recession & Recovery:

Price of a loaf of bread: $2.20
I’ve been in Germany for 2 years.
Summer Olympics are held in Bejing. Michael Phelps wins 8 Golds.
Obama makes a speech in Berlin at the Victory monument, and I attend. He’s elected later that year.
Meg Whitman leaves eBay.
The company homepage is “green” but cleaner than before, and beginning to think about “turnaround”.

2010 – Anything but Zen:

Price of a loaf of bread: $2.35
Vancouver hosts the Winter Olympics.
I move to Ireland.
Indonesia & region is hit by Tsunami killing thousands
The homepage is much cleaner, and red for Christmas again.

2012 – Time for a Makeover:

Price of a loaf of bread: $2.49
Queen Elizabeth has her Diamond Jubilee (50 years) on the throne
London hosts 2012 Olympics, Michael Phelps becomes winningest Olympian of all time.
Obama v/s Romney for the 2012 Presidential elections

Company revamps logo and homepage look.

Change is Good…

As many of you may have read in The Local there are more layoffs coming for my company. Yes, in this round, I too will be affected (just not sure how yet). For those of you who haven’t read this:

Internet auction website eBay announced on Thursday it was eliminating 400 of its 1,000 jobs in Germany due to restructuring its European customer service operations. Customer service for our customers in Germany will still be done from Germany,” eBay Vice President Deborah Davis said in a statement. “Germany is eBay’s second biggest market worldwide, and we will account for its huge importance accordingly.”

The thing is that the numbers here have been clarified. You see, there are 1000 people on the entire campus – NOT all employed by the eBay group that I’m in. There’s Mobile.de, there’s the remnants of eBay GMBH, Paypal, and of course, the eBay Inc (my portion) that is customer support facing. So, of the 600 of us that work in CS and CS operations, 400 are going to be made redundant, outsourced, and/or moved to Dublin during the restructuring process (to be determined). At this point, everything is in negotiations with the works council and the company. We’re not allowed to say anything – since we don’t know anything, talk to the press, etc. as everything is to remain in negotiations. All we’ve been told is the process should be complete by mid-2010.

After 10 years, all I can say is that it’s been a great ride – and for someone who only thought I’d be with this company for 6 months, and it wound up being 20 times longer than I ever expected – I am thankful for all the opportunities, chances, and training that I’ve received from this company. It’s been hard, and at times it’s been a love-hate relationship. For me, I have fallen in love with my job (how many of us can truly say we wake up each day and LOVE our JOB?!?) been proud to be a passionate eBayer and employee, and am going to find it hard to have to say goodbye – whether it be so I can move to Dublin ( I’m going to try to fight for one of those jobs) or to go out and seek other opportunities. I know that on some level, I have made a difference in people’s lives (having worked my way up through basic support and into powerseller support and so on) and grown up with the company. It’s truly been a pleasure – one with no regrets and plenty of fond, happy memories – beginning from the day that we walked out of training to put our desks together in the new Salt Lake City CS center (at the time there was no “europe”) and started answering emails – typing each one out by hand, and most recently, resulting in my move to Europe.

So, while I sit here and wait for news of the negotiations and exactly what will happen to me on a personal front, I’m working on making more opportunities for myself, trying to decide what the future may hold (even if it’s still with eBay – hopefully in Dublin), I hope you will understand if my posts become a bit melancholy or moody in the coming weeks. On a positive note, I think I’m handling it well – I’ve got a plan, a backup plan, and a back up to my backup idea as well. Change is Good – and while I’m not exactly happy about the coming one, I recognize that many things (even some marriages) don’t last as long as I’ve been with this company. I’ve had a ton of blessings – friends, friends who became like family, knowlege gained, etc etc that have come to me throughout the years. People I see every day (and talk to as well) all been supportive, and for those of us who are affected, we are trying to keep our chins up as much as possible.

Otherwise, I just wanted to share something – which I previously had hidden in my flickr photos – the magazine celebrating 10 years of eBay Germany (I got interviewed for being with the company for 10 years) – and me with the magazine cover. For the record, my “anniversary” date of 10 years will be December 8, 2009….

and the magazine article page itself…..

Oh and another thought – How cool is it that I work in Germany – and yet have lunch almost daily with people that I never would have met other than for this company – An Australian, an Indonesian, an Indian, A Swede, An Italian, a Frenchman, and a German (me being the lone American most days)… where an environment is fostered such that I get 7 different perspectives on everything from politics and religion -to life in europe and how to best achieve whatever the latest goal may be. I think, regardless of where I wind up, I will miss this learning, teaching, and perspective on the world. Yes, I have truly been blessed, beyond my wildest imaginings – and been privledged to have my wanderlust a bit more satisfied.

Final thought – Change is Good, I am not Afraid of it – and Everything will work out in the End.

Phoenix Rose's Blog

The Chronicles of a Girl, Her Dog, and a Lifelong Journey…

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Why I Would Vote “Yes” for Equality

Times, they are a changin’

Change is Good…