humor

Lost in Translation – Blogisode 11

** This is an occasional thread through my blog series – dedicated to things that can be mis understood, mis-interpreted, and just plain odd because they lose something (or gain someting unintended) in translation. And since seeing is believing, I’m here to provide you with VISUAL proof of what’s been… LOST IN TRANSLATION. **

Well it’s been a while since I went down this road – nearly a month in fact – since I last mentioned anything. However, this past week has really come up with some doozies (must be the end of the quarter) that I have decided to post this week’s examples in one thread. First up are a couple gems from Tiny Teltow, Germany – where they think they’re cosmopolitan, but really… well…they are a never ending source for a few giggles.

Here’s the Wolff Optical.

Wolff Optic

Ok so I loved the name of the optician (the only thing that would be better would be if they were “hawk” optic).

I am, however, still confused by the repetitive use of the clock faces in all of their store windows. What does a clock (a symbol for time?) have to do with buying eyeglasses and contact lenses?

Right next store to it is a shop that has closed up. Probabally because it had such a bad name – that I always thought would be more suited to a Strip Club, Gangster Hang-out, or something devious. It’s the Station 4 Players:

Station 4 players

Yes, really. But instead of being what one might expect it to have been – when it was open, it was a shop that geared toward sports players – selling jerseys, equipment, etc. Bummer.. maybe now though – someone will rent it and just not bother to rename.

Last but not least (yeah, it’s the best) it’s yet another ad from Burger King’s mis-guided executive promotions department. Yes, I’m sure the burgers taste great but really…..

Mountain Burger

The Mountain Burger.

“Gigantish grosser grillgenuss”

Basically giant sized large grilled goodness… in a burger.

You have the options of a smoky barbeque mountain ( a favorite from those plagued by wildfires); the blue cheese mountain (just in case you’re tired of a few purple mountains magesty); and the rocky cheese mountain (wait.. rocks and cheese?!? I guess you really can eat anything with the right topping….)

My favorite is still the “angry whopper” but…. this is pretty good too.

Once again, Burger King gets the award for the best Lost in Translation – and the best burger. What do ya know.. maybe despite the weird campaign… they really do know what they’re doing?!?

*ps – I’m off to prague tomorrow, so I’ll be back on Tuesday with all new sources of inspiration.

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What’s on Your Bucket List?

(AKA, 4 days of going with very little sleep). Wow What a weekend. I need a break from all the go go go, but hey, if my weekend is any consolation, at least I’m young enough to have enjoyed it completely. There will be 3 entries posted in one day (Jan 28) so forgive me y’all – I wrote it up but didn’t have time to post.
Sunday once again was a rainy day – and I woke up way late. Special thanks for my pup letting me sleep. I was so tired that I didn’t even hear my alarms – and am rather glad I didn’t have to work.
After chatting with Bubba, he had to leave the place he’s staying for a bit to give his roommate some time to herself – so we met up and headed to the movies.
We saw a movie called “the Bucket List” with Morgan Freeman (I love him) and Jack Nicholson. It’s amazing. Poor Bubba was a bit weepy (aww so sweet) and so was I by the end of the movie. It also prompted a discussion of what one wants to do with your life – before you “kick the bucket”. I agree with the theory that what you want to do changes when you are young v/s facing the end of your life. I guess it’s a matter of what’s really important to you.
Anyhow, tieing into the idea was a quote I got from Robert via email….
Life’s Journey is NOT to Arrive at the Grave Safely in a Well Preserved Body, But Rather to Skid in Sideways, Totally Worn Out, shouting “HOLY SHIT… WHAT A RIDE!!”
Yeah, someday, this will be me – at least if this weekend is any indication.
Anyhow, after the movies, Bubba and I went to dinner (Yum! steak) and then wandered around the city getting lost but heading in the direction toward where we would know where we were (I can’t explain this concept). Sometimes, the best time you can possibly have is hooking your arm through that of a friend, strolling along and just chatting as you enjoy the fact that it’s stopped raining, has warmed up a bit, and just seeing the beauty of what’s right in front of you.
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News of the “WTF?” weird

One of my greatest joys in life is the weekly (and sometimes daily) editions of the news of the weird. Things that just make you go HUH, WTF, and NOW HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT?!? seem to be in large supply these days.
A few examples from today’s lovely news sources:
Mom buys 19 year old son a car for Thanksgiving. Son gets caught with alcohol under the front seat by the snoopy mom. Mom puts an ad in the newspaper selling car saying that son is obviously NOT responsible enough to have it. That he’ll have to earn it by himself. I have 4 words related to this:
WAY TO GO MOM!
Husband tells wife she needs to get a job. She gets a part time job. Man is happy – then he visits the local Brothel – only to discover his WIFE is WORKING there. (Now really, how come it’s ok for him to go to the brothel – but not for her to work there? Double standard if I ever saw one!) Anyhow, they’re getting divorced now. (Duh – YA THINK?!)
Apparently this guy thought he had 666 tattooed in it somewhere. Yeah.. He’s a loon. However, it is sort of amusing that no one noticed this guy was kinda crazy, that he cut the hand of – and as if it wasn’t enough – tossed it in the microwave to make sure it was “dead”. (Soup anyone?)
4) Finally, and two straight out of the “weekend at Bernies” case file:
Guys wake up to realize their roommate died the night before. They put him in an office chair and wheel him with his social security check down to the local check cashing store. Thinking that no one would notice (It is NYC after all) they proceed to chat with the person behind the counter, and only get caught by an off duty police officer who notices the dead body sitting in the chair.
US Marshalls go to the home to deliver an eviction notice. Someone answers the door. Foul odor comes out, Police go in and discover the bodies of 3 children and an 18 year old woman. Unknown cause of death, but they’ve been there for 2 weeks. My question – What? It didn’t stink? How can 4 dead bodies be in an apartment for 2 WEEKS and NOT SMELL horrible? And no one notices the missing children – let alone the woman?
So, basically, since all these stories (except the one about the brothel) came straight out of the good Ol’ US of A, I just wanted to point out today’s lesson:
If your hand has the mark of the beast, you should cut it off, and put it in the microwave to make sure it can’t be re-attached. Just make sure that as a 19 year old, you don’t get caught with alcohol under the front seat of your car – you’ll be stuck without transportation and/or pain killer / steralization method for that circular saw you’re about to use to do the deed. Of course, no one will notice the chopped off hand unless you actually make a phone call to ask for help – after all, 4 dead bodies in an apartment for 2 weeks and wheeling a dead body down the street doesn’t draw attention either. Oh – and when you’re done with that, take a vacation to Europe, go visit the local brothel – you might just find your wife….
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