Sarcasm & Humor

The End of Two Eras… Saying Goodbye

I’m sad.
It’s the end of two eras – and what some would call, the world coming to the end. In either instance, I’m sure the world isn’t coming to an end, but hey, shave my head, put on the “Jesus Saves” placard, and we’ll ring a bell to say goodbye and welcome in the changes of the future.

First and foremost (mostly because this does affect me as it’s part of my photography hobby), I saw today that

Polaroid is no longer making instant camera film

Having grown up with a camera in my hand – one of which was the instant one where you had to shake the picture until it came out – I feel old. I remember the days of film in my horrible kodak 110 camera which we would leave in the car until the plastic case and the film melted into a glopy mess. More importantly, I remember my first polaroid instant camera and packet of film, and running around taking pictures of random kid stuff – us in the swimming pool, the craw daddies in the creek we had caught, and just whatever was fun at the time. It was great – go out, take the polaroid with us, and just snap pictures of whatever on the way. I have a drawer full of them – fading at the edges, the imbedded chemicals gradually eating away toward the center of the picture…. It was so cool – especially because you knew within a matter of minutes (of rapidly insane shaking, blowing and flipping) if you had captured the moment. From the sound of it, the cameras are now “old technology” and only fuji is still making the film….I’m betting, however, that their ‘film making’ , much like my “instant” photographs will probabally be eaten away by time soon enough.

Secondly (and more importantly -though I’m not really sad about this one), I saw that Fidel Castro has said he’s not renewing his presidency. He’s gone, resigned, out, headed to retirement. I always thought he’d be one to die in office – (ok the other one will be Queen Elizabeth of England) – but he proved me wrong. Kudos to him for that, now if only we could get him to let democracy in to Cuba instead of his brother taking the presidency…

Oh – on a side note, special thanks to MSNBC for putting up what I would call a “nice” picture of him – as opposed to the ones where he’s speaking and in the middle of a word. No matter how crazy he has driven the US government (yes, Castro is a crazy dude), this man still deserves a little respect and dignity as the announcement of his resignation is being made.

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Happy Valentine’s Day

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Valentine’s Day. Since I’m single, I don’t really have much to say, other than that.

However, for a bit of lost in translation / Valentine’s Day humor, you may want to notice the name of the Candy pictured below….

Happy Hornies

They’re foam based candy in the shape of ice creams. Hard to tell here, but when you flip them over, they don’t look like ice cream cones – put it that way.

Thanks to Micha at work who gave them to me as a Valentine’s gift – knowing I’d have a laugh.

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News of the “WTF?” weird

One of my greatest joys in life is the weekly (and sometimes daily) editions of the news of the weird. Things that just make you go HUH, WTF, and NOW HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THAT?!? seem to be in large supply these days.
A few examples from today’s lovely news sources:
Mom buys 19 year old son a car for Thanksgiving. Son gets caught with alcohol under the front seat by the snoopy mom. Mom puts an ad in the newspaper selling car saying that son is obviously NOT responsible enough to have it. That he’ll have to earn it by himself. I have 4 words related to this:
WAY TO GO MOM!
Husband tells wife she needs to get a job. She gets a part time job. Man is happy – then he visits the local Brothel – only to discover his WIFE is WORKING there. (Now really, how come it’s ok for him to go to the brothel – but not for her to work there? Double standard if I ever saw one!) Anyhow, they’re getting divorced now. (Duh – YA THINK?!)
Apparently this guy thought he had 666 tattooed in it somewhere. Yeah.. He’s a loon. However, it is sort of amusing that no one noticed this guy was kinda crazy, that he cut the hand of – and as if it wasn’t enough – tossed it in the microwave to make sure it was “dead”. (Soup anyone?)
4) Finally, and two straight out of the “weekend at Bernies” case file:
Guys wake up to realize their roommate died the night before. They put him in an office chair and wheel him with his social security check down to the local check cashing store. Thinking that no one would notice (It is NYC after all) they proceed to chat with the person behind the counter, and only get caught by an off duty police officer who notices the dead body sitting in the chair.
US Marshalls go to the home to deliver an eviction notice. Someone answers the door. Foul odor comes out, Police go in and discover the bodies of 3 children and an 18 year old woman. Unknown cause of death, but they’ve been there for 2 weeks. My question – What? It didn’t stink? How can 4 dead bodies be in an apartment for 2 WEEKS and NOT SMELL horrible? And no one notices the missing children – let alone the woman?
So, basically, since all these stories (except the one about the brothel) came straight out of the good Ol’ US of A, I just wanted to point out today’s lesson:
If your hand has the mark of the beast, you should cut it off, and put it in the microwave to make sure it can’t be re-attached. Just make sure that as a 19 year old, you don’t get caught with alcohol under the front seat of your car – you’ll be stuck without transportation and/or pain killer / steralization method for that circular saw you’re about to use to do the deed. Of course, no one will notice the chopped off hand unless you actually make a phone call to ask for help – after all, 4 dead bodies in an apartment for 2 weeks and wheeling a dead body down the street doesn’t draw attention either. Oh – and when you’re done with that, take a vacation to Europe, go visit the local brothel – you might just find your wife….
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