confused Amazed shocked

If Life is Fragile, then how come it’s so hard to Die?

Ok so it’s not that I want all idiots/ stupid people to die – not at all. But, it’s moments like the following that I realize that maybe someone should have opted for abortion. Really. I mean how do these dumbass people go on living? By what miracle do they not get killed by the mountain dew cap shooting into their eye (hense the label to point the bottle away from them); blow drying their hair in the bathtub (again the label to NOT dry your hair while immersed in water – do they even know what immersed means?!?); or some other strange method that requires a label that most of us think “Who the FUCK would do that stupid thing?” and laugh.

We all know people who are dumbasses. It’s true. But how come they’re generally the ones to survive – and pass on their genes – and not the seriously super smart geniouses or something…. Life is Fragile – My ass. (Have you seen the things that people live through? My point exactly.)

So, what started my tyrade? I’m ashamed to admit that I’m from the USA after seeing this. Thank God I’m not blonde or related to this woman.

The following is taken from the show “are you smarter than a 5th grader?” TV show – and gives all Americans a bad name. Note that I’d almost bet money this woman is from North Carolina… but I don’t know if it’s right.

The best quotes are:

“This might be a stupid question. Ok Like I thought Europe was a country?”
“Like I know they speak French there, don’t they?”

“Focus.” “I am. Like I’m listenin’ to whut you’re sayin’ but I only hear what I wunt to.”

{watch the 5th grader – Nathan’s face as he tries to NOT laugh at her}

“HUNGRY?!?” That’s a country? I’ve heard of TURKEY, but HUNGRY? NEVER HEARD OF IT. “

You know it’s cold when…

You know it’s cold when… (today’s top 10 list)

10. You bundle up to walk the dog and don’t care how you look anymore – as long as you’re warm.

9. The dog looks at you like “do I have to” when you open the door.

8. You kick the dog out the door, but don’t lock it for fear that the metal lock would stick in the metal door jamb and be impossible to re-open.

7. The dog walks on the pavement, picking up each paw, shaking it (to get it warm) and then repeats for each step as he’s walking – while looking back at you like the world is coming to the end. (Remember – I have a husky – a dog designed for COLD weather!)

6. You go back inside and realize you’ve lost all feeling to your fingers, toes, nose, ears, thighs, butt, and forearms – and you’ve only been outside for 10 minutes.

5. The bus driver waits until the last possible minute to open the door and then promptly slams it behind you – closing your jacket in the rubber flap and prompting you to “fall up the stairs” as you try to pull your coat out and show him your bus pass.

4. You wish the weather would just warm up to 35 degrees so you could unthaw.

3. Drinking lukewarm tap water feels like you’re drinking something really warm (hot coffee? tea? hot chocolate?) .. and you can feel it as it goes all the way down and coats the inside of your stomach.

2. You wear tights, long johns, jeans and knee high boots to work yet feel NO requirement to de-layer yourself once in the office (because it’s only slightly less windy inside – but nearly the same temperature as outside.)

AND… *Drum Roll please*….

The Number 1 way you know it’s cold is…..

1. You realize that the fingerless gloves you have worn at the computer desk the last 3 days aren’t keeping your hands/fingers warm anymore so you consider ski gloves – and request a new keyboard so you can continue working….

Holiday Comics – some things to think about.

I don’t have any claim to the rights for these images – they are all copyright their respective artists. I do, however, find them interesting and amusing from their blunt perspective on the holidays. Sometimes our comic artists (generally published in newspapers) really hit home on topics – especially when it comes to politicized ones.

Hope you enjoy! (and Notice the eBay reference!)